Post-Cycle 5: Facts, Remarks and Things to be Joyful for....

I was expecting pretty dramatical physical performance having combined Chemo with Radiation. It really hit me on Day 5 of Radiation which was also Day 10 in my Chemo Cycle (lowest blood counts) -- on August 11, my fatigue was one to remember. I got home from radiation, and was planning to do some reading, only to find out that my eyes were so heavy to the point of me struggling to keep them open in midday; I was more than ready to pass out. I rushed my mom in preparing lunch so that I can hibernate upstairs.
As planned, immediately after lunch, I took a 3 hour afternoon nap and woke up only to prevent my body from getting into jet-lag mode so that I can sleep at a decent hour at night. Had that not been my worry, I could have probably slept through the morning -- a myth and a reality I highly doubt since I'm not a sleeper type and usually cannot get more than 7 hours at a time....I guess it'll make us all wonder.

Looking back and seeing how I was already midway in my 5th month was consoling...I remember meeting a gentleman while waiting to get admitted on my 3rd Day of Chemo Cycle 1. I was still in the beginning of the race and my body was so weak since it wasn't used to Chemo. I wore blankets while waiting in the hospital, carried my mask with me diligently, was fully aware of everyone around me and was always curious in knowing what the next step was. It was too eventful, and too new for me. It was a new world that I became apart of, whether I liked it or not. I had become one with hospitals, doctors and medicines.

This gentleman was sitting across from me and my mother. He was in his early thirties and I struck conversation with him. He was a big guy, with biceps nearly as big as half my thigh. He also had an army necklace hanging down his white t-shirt. I would have never guessed he had cancer had it not been for his shaved head and eyebrows. He still looked very strong and in shape.
He was reading a newspaper, but immediately put it down when he saw that I was so interested in chatting with him. He was also a Sarcoma patient, and was diagnosed back in 2007. He fought it and was in remission by mid-2008. In early 2010, the Sarcoma came back and new spots were found in his lungs. He is still fighting this as we speak.

I remember vividly how he shared his story with my mother and I. He was a very athletic person who ran over 150 miles per month, consistently. He passionately enlightened us about the first couple cycles and how being sick in bed is nothing out of the norm, even for a big guy like him. He told me that by the first Cycle, he was already on blood transfusions and got 1-2 every cycle up until surgery. That really scared me. It's one thing to give blood, but it's another thing to sit in bed and get other people's blood...I just don't like this thought. I told myself that I'd do whatever it takes to prevent this, if it is in my control.

Now that I am only a few weeks away from surgery and that all Chemo is done, I can tap myself on the back knowing that I made it through the toughest Chemo cycles for 5 months without one blood transfusion! I never had to spend a night in the hospital either! It was a miracle and an answered prayer from God! He is truly with me at all times! This is a greater miracle than any of you can imagine, and I am in awe for how the Lord is taking care of me. There is no strength and no healing hand like His.

My delicate, weak and thin body sustained the damage better than the army-like person that I discussed above. It's no surprise though, as He was with me, giving me the strength and the endurance needed:

Colossians 1:11
"...being strengthened with all power according to His glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father."

While the verse above is pertaining to spiritual endurance, it can be compared to our physical endurance through trials. You might not think that God had anything to do with me not getting blood transfusions, which is fair, but I personally believe He relieved me of this headache.

As the Cycles were cumulative, my Hemoglobin would drop lower every time. My parents were aware of the problem we were facing, and they really helped feed me nutritious foods to prevent it. Any Hemoglobin level below 7.0 means automatic admission to the hospital. I reached 7.2 during Cycle 4. I was really close...For some reason, my levels were higher during Cycle 5.
I called a friend right before my blood draw on my lowest blood count day (Cycle 5) and shared with him how I was very worried my Hemoglobin would be lower than 7.0. I wasn't ready to be admitted to the hospital. I really hate being there...But God worked a miracle and I was spared. My levels were 8.2! It was a miracle! This is one thing I am very joyful for!

Psalm 6:9
"The Lord has heard my supplication, the Lord receives my prayer."

On the flipside, the VinCristine Chemo mix is known to really affect the veins. My veins used to be pronounced on my arms, very visible and very strong. As of today, they are not noticeable and well hidden underneath my arms. A few posts ago, I mentioned how I was proud of myself for getting used to blood draws. The fear and the pain they imposed was something I started paying little attention to, considering I had bigger problems ahead.

Unfortunately, the last couple blood draws have been beyond painful....I finally asked one nurse why they were hurting so much more than before....She told me that my veins were 'collapsing' and that due to Chemo, the nurses are having to dig deeper with the needle to draw the blood. I wasn't too surprised the journey was going to get tougher, even when it comes to something I thought I overcame...It's pretty sad.

The other observation regarding those blood draws are their duration. While they used to take a few seconds, they are now taking around 30 seconds, if not longer. I think the blood flow out of my weaker veins is now slower. I am not sure if this has to do with lower Hemoglobin levels or not. I try my best not to distract or talk to the nurses anymore so that they can rush the blood draw. It bothers me when they start talking to others around me while drawing my blood, therefore extending the duration of the needle in my arm...It's discomforting, and I get very anxious very fast.

I used to allow anyone to prick me. Not anymore. If the nurse is a student in training, I usually request another nurse. I hate to break it to them by telling them that I'd rather have a more experienced nurse, but all I have to do is show them my bruised up arm and they understand. It's not a crime to switch to a more confident nurse since I am no longer like before.

Finally, it was my goal to reach surgery having used my RIGHT ARM alone for all blood draws and IV's. Halfway through Cycle 5, I decided to give my right arm some rest, and started using my left arm. My right arm had it pretty bad. As soon as it recovers though, I plan to use it again.

Towards the end of August, my eyebrows starting growing back a bit. I was super excited for a few days...only to find out that a week later, this progress had diminished and my eyebrows were close to non-existent again....